Every Job I’ve Ever Had Taught Me This About Self Worth

For most of my life, I thought my career would tell me who I was.

Like many women, I learned early that being responsible, hardworking, and reliable was how you earned safety, approval, and belonging. So I worked. And I worked hard. From my very first job at sixteen right through to senior leadership roles in nursing, every position shaped me not just professionally, but psychologically.

What I didn’t realise at the time was this:

My career wasn’t just developing my skills.
It was mirroring my self worth.

Learning to Work Before Learning to Rest

My first job was at sixteen, working as a deli and butchery assistant for £2.20 an hour. It taught me discipline, communication, and what “real work” actually meant. I remember earning £8.80 on a Friday after school. After topping up my phone, I had £3.80 left.

That experience taught me the value of money but it also quietly taught me that effort equals worth.

From there, I worked in a supermarket on tills, stocking shelves, and covering petrol pumps. I’d go out on Friday and Saturday nights and still be up at 6am to do the papers. I wore exhaustion like a badge of honour. Everyone did.

Rest felt lazy. Pushing through felt normal.

Becoming the Caretaker

At nineteen, I worked as a care assistant in a nursing home while renting, studying at university, and completing nursing placements during the week. My weekends were split shifts: 8–2, 4–10, repeat.

I was exhausted but that place became a safe haven for me during a difficult time in my life. The team looked after me. The patients mattered to me deeply.

I learned how to care for others beautifully.
I did not yet know how to care for myself.

This is where a pattern formed: being needed made me feel valuable.

When the “Dream Job” Doesn’t Save You

After qualifying as a nurse, I moved to London and worked in a cancer unit at St George’s Hospital. I completed my cancer and chemotherapy training at the Royal Marsden. This was a dream role  something I had always wanted.

But no degree prepares you for the emotional weight of that responsibility.

I grew up quickly. I became charge nurse faster than expected. Leadership taught me to stop looking for problems and start finding solutions. The patients I cared for changed me forever.

Outwardly, I was capable, trusted, and respected.
Inwardly, I was still chasing safety through achievement.

Skill, Strength… and Silent Struggle

After returning to Northern Ireland, I spent three years working in A&E to gain trauma experience. It strengthened my clinical skills enormously and introduced me to friendships that still matter deeply to me today.

It also coincided with a significant decline in my mental health.

This is something many high-achieving women experience quietly:
You can be competent and struggling at the same time.

Burnout Isn’t a Weakness - It’s a Message

After burning out, I left acute care and moved into a clinic sister role in care of the elderly and rehabilitation. This role felt different. Slower. More human. I learned about quality improvement, built projects, and worked alongside experienced, grounded nurses who embodied wisdom rather than urgency.

Then I climbed again.

I applied for a ward manager role - not because I wanted status, but because I needed financial stability. I had moved fourteen times since leaving home at fifteen and desperately wanted my own home.

The job itself wasn’t the problem.

My boundaries were.

I over-gave. I over-explained. I people-pleased. I tied my worth to performance and internalised everything. I believed, on some level, that if I could just be successful enough, I’d finally be worthy.

That belief cost me my health.

Choosing Yourself Can Feel Like Failure

I eventually stepped back, working bank and agency shifts. That choice gave me precious time with my granda as his dementia progressed - time I will always be grateful for.

After his passing in February 2020, I gathered myself and tried again. I accepted another ward manager role. My first week? The first week of lockdown.

I rebuilt an empty ward with a terrified team during one of the most challenging periods healthcare has ever faced. I loved the people. I hated the job.

Leaving felt like failure.

But staying would have been self-betrayal.

Who Are You Without Your Job?

Eventually, I took a brand new role building a service from scratch for a highly vulnerable population. I wasn’t micromanaged. I was trusted. I had space to grow, create, and lead in alignment with my values.

It was hard but expansive.

And it forced me to ask the question so many women avoid:

Who am I if I am not my role?

My ego dismantled. My identity widened. I realised that leaving jobs that didn’t serve me didn’t make me a failure it proved I was brave enough to choose myself.

The Truth About Self Worth

Here’s what all of this taught me:

• A job will never complete you if you don’t feel whole within yourself

• You do not need to prove yourself to be loved or accepted

• Burnout is not a personal flaw - it’s a sign of self-abandonment

• Your body will carry what your mind refuses to feel

• Life will only reflect the value you place on yourself

This understanding is what led to the creation of The Self Worth Secret - and now, something even deeper.

Becoming Her

Becoming Her is for women who are done performing for approval.
For women who are tired of abandoning themselves to be accepted.
For women who know, deep down, that there is more to them than productivity, resilience, or roles.

This is not about changing jobs.
It’s about coming home to yourself.

Join the Waitlist for Becoming Her

If this story resonated in your body not just your mind you’re exactly who this programme is for.

https://www.theselfworthsecret.com/becomingherwaitlist
and be the first to receive early access, exclusive bonuses, and founding-member opportunities.

Lets peel back the layers that are keeping you trapped so you can step into your worthy woman era with class and confidence.